part two of infamous step 3 is tomorrow. i am petrified on some level, i am sure. i feel unprepared. more so than last time, but strangely unexcited. maybe its anti-climactic, bc it should already be done. maybe bc my system has been so unbalanced lately not in touch with any real emotions -- which leads me to believe i may also not be in touch with my brain at all. eeek.
either way, its tomorrow. this is one more example in my life, where it is purely God's grace if i do pass. i owe it all to Him and His mercy. i know he gave me a brain, He put me where i am, but i also don't feel i deserve to pass this thing. i feel fat and lazy and dumb. but maybe just maybe He will let me get by one more gate so one day i can be of some use. i guess thats my prayer. please God. i don't deserve it, but please save the money, the time, the shame. i do truly plan on getting on track and serving You. not bc of this test. thank you.
No comments:
Post a Comment