dream

have more studying to do. just one more day till the end of the test. feel so unmotivated. Christian music playing, all the lights in my bedroom on. thought just a little nap might help. then get up and work some more. not even midnight for goodness sake. fuzzy. was going somewhere...minds were changed. stayed in. it was like a garage, with levels. i was on one side, near the top. i don't remember music, but remember moving. all these men around. thought they were singing or party or something but not clear. then i realized they liked whatever i was doing. bobbing or something. i kept on. then i realized they all had erections, one by one, two by two. kept doing whatever it was, rhythmically. then i felt them all cum. not just on me, but all around me. i knew i had led them to that point, but still distinctly felt i was not the leader. police? bust in. like a raid...was not sure why we were in trouble, but i was out. as they surged in, i slipped out a side curtain, threading right past, but not small or subtle enough to go unnoticed. daylight outside. heard shouts -- rajen? someone? was telling them i was definitely a part of it and i needed help and should not get away. i ran, but no time, no where to hide. i was just in the back yard, hid behind a gate. found within seconds. they picked me, women soldiers. took me to a stone room with many beds. like a dorm. shortly one short haired soldier (they all were) came over and told me they were going to paralyze my face. i had no choice. it didn't really hurt. felt weird. stayed conscious. could see everything, hear. just couldn't talk or move much. i knew more was to to come. got the distinct feeling they were going to be as liberal with my body as they wanted. it was scary, but helpless, resigned. had the feeling i was to be moved somewhere for punishment. in the meantime, in the bed next to me, they were discussing anesthetizing...or another word, an "s" word of the same meaning. she opened a kit. it was disguised as something benign, but underneath were medical supplies. no idea what they were going to do. but the girl didn't fight. clearly there was no point. i glanced around the room, knowing, thinking, i would have time to know it well. looked passively for an escape. nothing obvious. door had no handle, strange lock i didn't recognize with a wire. decorations on the wall. like crafts of the girls. i wondered if at some point i would be able to place every object precisely out of sheer exposure. laying there, realized i wasn't really there. not just there. i was in my own bed. tried a couple of times to wake up. no luck. eyes opened, saw my roommate's bed. tried again. same thing. forced it to shift to my room. now i am awake, writing this. wondering if i should try sleep again. not very pleasant. not a nightmare exactly. but kinda dark for having all these lights on.